just tell him i said nine months
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
