'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
