end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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