He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
