at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
