Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
