i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
