Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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