Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
