I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
