I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
