just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
