Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
