Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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