i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize