Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
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