I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
