CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
