if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
