OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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