you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
