Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You ruined the universe
Randomize
