i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
