Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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