I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
