Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
