so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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