this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize