I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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