He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Randomize
