Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
