you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
