forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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