they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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