Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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