Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize