You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Randomize
