so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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