my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
