yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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