Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
