Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize