More tranny stories later!
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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