Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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