Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize