i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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