I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
