If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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