She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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