she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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