I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
and she was petting her beer can
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
