so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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