I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
