I don't usually arrange sex via text message
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
