Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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