More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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