My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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