You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
