why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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