once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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