I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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