I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
